A ridiculously insignificant entry.

Today is a day for catching up on homework…

Three classes and marching band – I’ll have two hours from noon to 2:00 in which I will study in the library and maybe get some lunch.

Then, marching band – we are doing a country show which should blow balls.

Tonight will be more homework and catching up on sleep…

My life is incredibly boring.

-Sam

My birthday weekend, band and roses.

My birthday came and went this weekend.

On Saturday morning my love made me pancakes (with a “different” recipe) had marching rehearsal, and we left an hour later than expected (due to poor timing of the bus driver) to our first destination of Defiance, Ohio for the “band spectacular”.

I stayed with people I didn’t know in an unknown place on my birthday – after spending the evening marching.

I woke up (along with my partner Annie) the next morning at 5:30 and we departed the school at 6am for another trip to Cincinnati to play at the Bengals vs. Broncos game.

When I arrived home – my lovely soul mate greeted me with a red rose and took me back to my apartment where there were several bunches of yellow roses everywhere, rose pedals all over the floor, candles, and a cake.

Perhaps that was the most amazing experience of my existence… I prefer experiences over material items.

It was absolutely beautiful – and afterwards he took me for dinner at Applebees (while I missed my SAI meeting on accident…) and we relaxed the rest of the evening…

I couldn’t have asked for a better recovery for my not so perfect birthday on Saturday…

On a side note, I think I am getting sick – which is absolutely horrible.


-Sam

A note on effort justification.

Since I have rejoined the Marching 110 – I don’t feel as much pride, not the same kind of mysticism there was when I first became a member.

One explanation is that I know the secrets and there is truly no mystery anymore. I now know that there are only a handful of individuals in the Marching 110 who are musicians.

Another is that this year it has been much more lax than other years. Particularly because the freshman were not yelled at during their camp like in the years before. They were given constructive criticism – no there is nothing wrong with this idea, it is just that after being yelled at, humiliated, degraded, and feeling worthless… I felt more a part of the group than ever. That emotional and physical beating I took gave me pride in what I’ve become a part of.

We are much more lax – I can try to be more serious, but there is only so much I can do.

-Sam

Game Day.

I haven’t written anything in a bit.

Basically – this week has been a living hell. I hurt from head to toe…

The first performance is today and I am so incredibly nervous. Particularly because I do not want my hat to fall off… I tried fixing it with newspaper and medical tape and we’ll see how that goes. Hopefully the braid will help keep it in as well.

I’m anxious to perform tonight… I want to have that feeling again; the feeling of performing in front of a crowd. Sweat dripping down my face as I stand as still as stone looking out over the cheering faces

I still have ironing to do – maybe more whitening on my hat… etc.

Maybe my roommate can drive me to Peden stadium this morning…


This blog is slightly hard to figure out… I’m trying to navigate it to find people I know and to search for groups.



I am tired, I want to see my love, and I want to know what he’s doing for my early birthday tomorrow…

-Sam

First day of rehearsals - only six more days until the free day.

After ridiculous auditions yesterday, I found out last night that I made both blocks of the Marching 110.

It is exciting, but I am nervous… very nervous. It’s just, a lot to do. This week is absolutely hectic… there’s no way around that.

I also wonder if it’s worth it – I woke up this morning not being able to physically move without wanting to cry. It’s a pain I never knew I could get from marching band… the feeling you’ve been hit by a truck.

I hurt from my calves, the arches of my feet, all the muscles in my thighs, my abs, my back, my shoulders and my arms.

Oh, and my lips are a little shot as well.

It’s too cold in my room – no wonder I freaking hurt this morning. That’s what I get for leaving the windows open.


I can’t believe a lot of people went out last night to drink after the posting of the block – don’t they realize we have 6 hours of field rehearsal starting at 9am and another 2 hours of indoor?

Anywho – I still have a lot of stuff to unpack in the apartment, I will post more later.

-Sam

First day of training camp and auditions - god help me.

Today… I re-audition for the marching 110.

I’m so nervous and excited and scared and determined all at the same time.

Truly, I feel like I’m going to vomit.

And… I’m… so tired I’m going to throw up again.

I will post more information when I find out what happens – wish me luck.

-Sam

Random Tidbits of Stress Week: Day #4

Today – I have finished one final, and have two more tomorrow before week ten can be announced over.

The trailer is packed, the car is packed – I’m moving out tomorrow.

It’s surreal.

But, I have to come back to reality – work at the lovely Kroger establishment from 7 until midnight.

Tomorrow should be much more interesting, particularly after both of my exams are done.

-Sam

Random Tidbits of Stress Week: Day #3

So far today I have completed 6 out of my 10 essays needed for my final. This is exciting.

The plan is to finish the rest this afternoon (which I was able to call off work for, huzzah!) and then tonight run through some editing…

Then tomorrow I will finish editing.

Also tonight I have to study for my other two classes…



I move in two days…

My mother and I are better today – I think.

And I want to visit my grandparents soon…


-Sam

Random Tidbits of Stress Week: Day #2

My own mother is a Class-A, one-of-a-kind, hardxcore bitch.

I have a lot to do… ten essays due on Thursday, work (which I was able to get called off tomorrow), stress about marching band auditions, moving, everything. I spent most of the day crying.

My lovely fiancé drove an hour to see me when I got off of work as a surprise… it was amazing. I love to look at his lovely face and look into his eyes – it calms my heart.

He offered to take me to dinner to relax – I call my mother out of courtesy to let her know…

BOOM

Apparently:

1. I’m inconsiderate because I didn’t think about the fact she made me dinner (which she usually does not do after I get off of work, it was a “surprise”)… (oh, and the surprise happened to be fried zucchini, which I absolutely despise, and chicken… which is not anything special)

2. My boyfriend’s an ass-wipe because apparently, he is inconsiderate in knowing that I’m stressed out and wants to take me out to dinner. (WHAT THE FUCK?)

3. She claims she doesn’t have much more time to spend with me… whoop-dy fucking do, she never says anything when I’m here by myself because everyone else left. But, when I want to go somewhere all hell breaks loose.

4. And now, she’s mad at me for fuck knows what… oh yeah… that I’m right in saying that she is a horrible person, mean in every sense of the word… and psycho.


All I have is three more sleeps until I get out of this place…

On to bigger and better things – past the drama of my own fucking mother.


-Sam

Random Tidbits of Stress Week: Day #1

Today – Monday August 24, 2009 – is going to be the start of several of the most hectic days of my life.

I have ten essays to write that are due on Thursday – and I have to get a 100% on them in order to get an A in the class.

On top of peddling through the mounds of school work I have to do, I am working at Kroger for eight hours today.

Then, on top of those two issues I have to pack to move into the apartment on Friday morning.


I feel ill and I’m on the verge of a severe mental breakdown. I have just about three hours to get everything done, including starting on those stupid essays, practicing, eating lunch, cleaning all the hangers and clothes off my floor, and cleaning my car…

Needless to say that cleaning my car is not going to be happening today.


Wish me luck…

-Sam


P.S. Don’t fear, I will have more thought provoking and intelligent entries on here – as opposed to the complaining word-vomit you just experienced.

Introduction [First Entry]

This is my first entry of this journal – and probably my millionth “first entry” in various blogs since I’ve had a difficult time maintaining a single journal ever since my first retirement from Livejournal almost a year ago.

Disclaimer: I tend to use “journal” and “blog” simultaneously.

Instead of trying to write an extremely feminist-biased article to introduce myself I will give a little biography for those who don’t already know who I am.


I am from an extremely rural area of Ohio – “extremely rural” translates to “having only one stoplight” and is considered a “village” as far as technical population terms are concerned.

I am currently an undergraduate student at Ohio University in Athens, in… Ohio.

My first (and what I thought to be my first and only) major and love was music. I began as a music education major and enjoyed its challenges and triumphs and was looking forward to being a teacher and training to be a professional musician.

I fell ill the summer before my sophomore year and switched my major from psychology to social work, and I’ve finally settled with sociology and plan to continue that education path until graduation.

I am also interested, and intend on also majoring in, women’s and gender studies.


So, the educational plan is a double major in Sociology and Women’s and Gender Studies with two minors in music and psychology. Estimated graduation time is still 2011.

I am interested in such things as spirituality, philosophy, women’s issues, classical music, old things, hippies, things beyond the imagination, people, places, discussing, love in every form, peace, tattoos and piercings, tye dye, dresses, and many other things you will discover as my interests as I will discuss throughout the life of this journal.

I have found my soul mate and life partner, Jeff – whom I can assume will be mentioned frequently in my writing.

He is my best friend and the love of my life.


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Onto random musings of my life in the current moment:


The irony about school is that school begins in about two weeks, and I move into my apartment next Friday. I’m excited, nervous, and a swirl of a million emotions at the same time.

The negative emotions of school coming up soon are more than likely coming from the fact I have auditions for the Marching 110 the day after I move-in. It would technically be my “re-audition” since I’ve done the Marching 110 before, and wasn’t able to audition or play last season due to my illness. I am just nervous about not being talented enough to make a spot on the field.

Those who read this journal will know everything about my experience in the Marching 110 – for certain; from tribulations and failures, you will know it all.

I am in the process of wrapping up summer quarter – and the three online classes I thought was a good idea to complete. These classes were so incredibly difficult and time consuming:


Philosophy 332 [Philosophy of Sex and Love] – and extremely interesting course and subject matter that is really intriguing and thought provoking. It is a lot of work; three exams, three discussion questions due every week, a true/false quiz every Thursday, a significant amount of reading studying a philosophy reader with works compiled from the most noteworthy names in philosophy, and making intelligent comments about a partner (in the classes) assignment every Friday.

Psychology 336 [Social Psychology] – interesting topic, horrible class… it doesn’t take long to figure out the professor was atrocious and the course would be better taught by another. The course is pretty straight forward, five essays and five exams throughout the quarter. The essays tended to be about 7 pages each, so anywhere from 7 to 21 pages throughout the quarter – dependent on the number of essays due. The exams were a simple, 40- question multiple choice exam.

Psychology 378 [Psychology of Gender] – one of my favorite classes. Granted, this is the subject I take the most interest in, it is knowledge that is useful for anyone regardless of field. This class was a lot of reading, quizzes 8 out of 10 Thursdays, two exams (10 essays), and a discussion board posting every Tuesday.

This is week 10 – we will find out how well the quarter went next week.


I also work at a Kroger in Lancaster; in which I have to work 25 hours in the next four days along with writing 13 essays, a quiz on Thursday and studying for two exams on Friday [the day I move in]. It will be a hectic week and I can only imagine the excitement flooding my body when it is done.


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As a woman I can do anything.



-Sam